Carers’ Stories

Here are some stories about the carers we support:

Anne
Anne*, aged 50, is the main carer of her elderly parents. Anne’s mother had cancer and Crossroads Care Surrey started to provide support in 2008 to enable Anne to continue her part time work until her mother died recently. The care has now transferred to her father and the carer support worker goes in 2 times a week assisting him with lunch and if weather permitted, taking him out for a walk. Anne said, “The support of Crossroads has been invaluable. Our carer support worker has helped us tremendously during a difficult time. She takes my father out for a change of scenery, supports him with his Alzheimer’s as well as his grieving.”

Dennis
Dennis* is 57 and cares for his wife Barbara*, aged 50, who has a neurological illness. Dennis’s work requires him to travel abroad occasionally. Dennis was referred by social services and Crossroads Care started in 2003 providing once a week respite break. Barbara enjoys rug making and the carer support worker joins her to make the rug together. They also go out for a walk with the dog while Barbara uses her electric wheelchai. Owing to her illness, Babara has good days and bad days. On a good day, she can do some simple tasks to look after herself but on a bad day, she requires more help such as making lunch and assisting in using the bathroom. Dennis said, “The flexibility of Crossroads Care has enabled me to continue my work and attend some functions which mean a lot to me. It makes a real difference knowing the person looking after my wife is reliable and is taking good care of her”.

Robert and Mary
Robert* and Mary* have three children aged 13, 12 and 8. Simon* is the middle son and has Cerebral Palsy and epilepsy. He has no speech but understands well. Crossroads Care started when Simon was 5 years old providing once a month evening respite break to enable the parents have a night out. The carer support worker would get Simon ready for bed and also check on the other two children when the parents were out. Simon now attends a weekly boarding school and spends weekends and holidays at home. During the school holidays, the carer support worker would accompany the mother to take Simon and the other children for outings. The respite break from Crossroads Care Surrey has provided the family with quality time together.

Gill
Gill* has two children and the youngest son, Peter*, aged 10, has hyperactivity disorder and epilepsy requiring round the clock care from his parent. The carer support worker (CSW) was introduced to Peter about 2 years ago to give the mother a break as well as to spend time with her other child. Before meeting the CSW, Peter was scared of animals especially dogs. The CSW introduced Peter to her pets and gradually Peter has overcome his phobia of animals. He is now learning horse riding and the introduction of pets has made Peter a lot calmer and less attention seeking. Gill felt that the service from Crossroads has enabled her to attend school functions like parents evening and sports day which is important to her other child.

Ronald
Joyce* is an 84 year old lady with dementia living with her husband Ronald*, also aged 84. Owing to the dementia, Joyce relies on her husband for her daily tasks. Crossroads Care has been providing respite breaks to Ronald since 2004. The carer support worker goes in once a week to take Joyce out for a walk and to feed the swans. Other times they play music together and have a sing along as Joyce loves music. Both Ronald and Joyce look forward to the regular visit and comment that the carer support worker is a godsend.

John and Sandra
John* and Sandra* have two children aged 3 and 9. The youngest daughter has cerebral palsy, visual & speech impairments and global development delay. She is quadriplegic and often has seizures, hence requiring a high level of care. She also needs gastro feed. John and Sandra share the responsibilities of caring and thus have no quality time for themselves or for their eldest child. They said, “When the carer support worker comes, we can catch up on some necessary work. It gives us just a little space to think and spend time with the other child who has been feeling neglected because of the disability of her sister.”

Tony and Julie
Tony* and Julie* live in a small town in Surrey and are both in their sixties. Julie has Rheumatoid Arthritis, osteoporosis, kidney cancer and heart problem. Tony has a mild physical disability which affects his mobility. They look after each other. Crossroads Care started in 2008 once a week to give both of them support. The carer support worker assists Julie to do cooking which is her main hobby and sometimes accompanies both of them out for a walk.They commented that the service has helped them to maintain independence and be able to live in their own home.

David
Sophie* aged 59, suffered from a terminal illness. Her 59-year old husband David* was her main carer who was unable to leave her for any length of time as she required constant attention to her illness. Although they had a care agency in the mornings, David required some time for his work. The service provided 4 hours per week to look after Sophie to enable David to combine working and caring until the death of his wife. While Sophie was in our care, initially the carer support worker was able to take her out to garden centre until her illness deteriorated and the activities had been changed from outdoors to indoors, such as listening to music or looking through photo albums. This had given Sophie an enjoyable time throughout her last journey of life.

Helen
Helen* is a 51-year old lady with a series of health problem herself. She is a full time carer to her father who has dementia. Helen was referred to Crossroads by Social Services as she is always up at night caring for her father. Although residential respite had been offered to Helen, it was proved to be unsuccessful as her father found it difficult to cope with new environment. The service provides her 4 hours three times a week respite to enable her to catch up her sleep. The service also signposted Helen to other agencies that could provide her with advice on dementia management. Through the provision of our service, it has saved the Council the cost of residential respite and also has prevented the break down of care from Helen.

*Names have been changed for confidentiality

If you would like to share your story please contact our fundraising department by emailing fundraising@crossroadscaresurrey.org.uk or call 01483 793737